Sarah Yu | On September 3, 2015
We all have the list.
I’m talking about the list that includes everything we want in a potential boyfriend or a future husband. No, don’t eliminate a guy because he has blue eyes and you’re a sucker for brown eyes.
But don’t pursue someone who doesn’t have the same core values or has unhealthy habits.You’re not being too picky if you want a guy who is:
Addiction-Free
This is not limited to drugs and alcohol. It also includes gambling, compulsive spending or anything that disrupts a person from living a proactive and productive life.
In this day and age, this may seem like too high of a standard because it’s so common. Any type of addiction is a damaging factor to relationships, and wanting to be in a relationship with a guy who puts you ahead of gambling or drugs is normal.
Responsible
A big stereotype about guys is that they’re lazy, that they need to be nagged by girls all the time because they’re not as ambitious as we are. This doesn’t only apply to knowing how to pay bills and handle finances.
This relates to the way he handles his mistakes too. Does he take responsibility for his actions or words when they hurt you? Or does he always blame it on something or someone else? Unfortunately, in relationships where one or both parties are irresponsible, it tends to fall into the parent-child dynamic rather than the partner dynamic. Guys who are responsible will be able to hold their end of the relationship and you will be able to trust him with every part of you, including your heart.
Sexually Abstinent
In a society where we are bombarded by sex in the media, it seems that people want to lose their virginity ASAP. The good news is that there are guys out there, not just one or two but plenty, who want to wait to have sex until after they’re married.
Though it’s not the norm, there is nothing wrong with wanting to date a guy who is a virgin and is willing to wait until his wedding night to have sex. Whether you’re religious or not, don’t let other people convince you that sexually abstinent guys are a rare species in the world.
Emotionally Available
But when you’re in a relationship, being emotionally available is important. Dating a guy who isn’t emotionally available may lead to heartbreak, and may not last over the long-run, if that’s what you’re looking for at this point in your life.
There’s a difference between being invested in other priorities like work and family and being emotionally unavailable. Put simply, emotionally unavailable guys won’t give you the time of day, or may always put work over spending time with you.
Don’t settle for a guy who doesn’t make you a priority in his life, his #1 priority.
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