It’s no secret that dating can be a wild goose chase.
Finding the right companion is like trying to find the perfect cup of coffee with just the right amount of milk and sugar. Too little sweetener leaves you with a bitter aftertaste and too much changes it completely. With a million different combinations to choose from, the dating matrix of rights, wrongs and unspoken rules would be much easier to navigate if we were all mind readers. But for now, finding the right person will have to rely on good old trial and error. To help speed up the process a little, Pink & Black took to the streets of Manhattan’s Lower East Side to discover what guys find to be their ultimate dating don’t, pooling together the most commonly mentioned relationship repellents.
“Talking about ex boyfriends, or pretty much anything that gives off a negative vibe. I hate that. Like, why would you talk about negative things when I’m trying to get to know you?” —Zach Grantham, 24
Right off the bat, the majority of guys said talking about your ex is a huge turn off. Going on about past hookups or recent boyfriends may give you a lot to talk about, but no guy wants to hear about the time you and your ex-boo fought over dinner plans and then made up for two hours that night. You’re on a date to move on and move forward, so old boyfriends should stay far away from the convo.
“If I can’t hold a good conversation with her, I’m immediately uninterested. I like outspoken.” —Chris Giles, 29
Being a little shy is not a bad thing, but a lot of guys mentioned that it is a sign of self-consciousness and apprehension. Confidence is sexy—use it to your advantage! Some nerves are understandable, but too much self-questioning can lead to a very silent and awkward night.
“I hate it when a girl is plugged into her phone the whole time. It gives off the vibe that she’s too wrapped up in the latest gossip and that kind of stuff.” —Ricardo Elias, 30
Okay, we’ve all been here. We are a generation of smartphone addicts. But no matter hard it may be, keep the phone tucked away on a date. Being too invested in your phone is a huge red flag for most guys, not to mention it’s a tad rude. The cyber world will still be there when you’re done with your dinner, however he may not be.
“Too clingy, expecting too much and then being too easy. There needs to be a level of subtlety on the first date. It can’t be too easy but it can’t be too hard.” —Duncan Watson, 22
The whole concept of “being too clingy” or “being too easy” is complicated, ambiguous and hard to dissect. Talking about your dream nursery will have guys running for the hills before you even get to wall color, but being standoffish and playing the hard to get card can give guys the wrong idea as well. Since men are simple-minded creatures, keep the mind games to a minimum.
“I can’t stand girls who think something’s wrong if you guys don’t talk to each other every minute of the day or even a couple hours. Guys don’t think like that.” —Dev Dabbara, 21
Although we have all denied it at one point or another, girls sometimes have a slight tendency to overanalyze and overreact at the first sign of being ignored. It’s important to remember that even if you’re exclusively dating someone, you both have separate lives and need a healthy amount of space from each other. Going over and over a situation or a conversation in your head will just drive you crazy, and chances are he is sitting at home playing Call of Duty and doesn’t realize something is wrong in the first place.
Feature Photo via We Heart It
