Getting over any great love is tough. Getting over that one great love that drove you to borderline insanity, that’s a whole other story.
Unhealthy relationships are like drugs. You know it’s doing you more harm than good, but for some reason you can’t seem to get enough.
Being without this person drives you absolutely nuts; being around them does the same. As much as you fight the urge, the intensity of the pain you feel without them keeps you going back, and going back, and going back, and that incredible, momentary relief makes it all worth it.Whether the two of you are always fighting or calling each other 90 times in a row, these types of relationships are marked by a manipulative, chaotic, intoxicating type of love—the kind that is so intense and addicting that it might feel like the best and worst thing that has ever happened to you all at the same time. Unhealthy relationships take on many forms and the truth is, there isn’t a right or wrong way to recover from them, but use these tips as a guide:
Get Perspective
It can be really hard to see the situation clearly when you’re the one in it. If you think your relationship is toxic, try and look at it as if your best friend was telling you she was going through the same thing. What would you say to her?
End It
You will obviously need to break up with the loser. This relationship is not good for your emotional well-being. Rip off the Band-Aid sooner than later.
Cut Yourself Some Slack
It’s okay that your relationship wasn’t perfect.
It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to cry, vent, binge eat ice cream and be nostalgic. Don’t listen to anyone telling you that it is wrong to feel the way you feel. Be sad. Be confused. Be frustrated. Be pissed off. Do what you need to do to feel better. Understand that you are going through something enormously difficult and that you will heal in your own time.Stop The Cycle
Unhealthy relationships are based on unhealthy patterns, so break the routine before it starts again. When you want to call, don’t. When you want to prove a point or find closure, don’t. This is very important and is the hardest part about overcoming an unhealthy relationship. Write it on your hand if you have to. Call some friends or go outside and run the moment out.
Keep Yourself Busy
Do things that make you remember why it’s wonderful to be on your own. Take yourself out to dinner and fall in love with yourself again. Gather up all the love you once felt for that person and pour it into worthwhile hobbies and adventures. Focus on yourself and the people who actively make you happy.
Give It Time
It may be cliché, but give time a little time to work its magic and it really will make all the difference. Don’t believe me? Try putting your relationship in a box. Literally. Write it down and put it in a box. Hide the box in the back of your closet. You’ll forget about it and time will pass. However, many months later, you’ll stumble upon it again. Nine times out of ten the problem will have solved itself by the time you remember to re-read it.
Breathe
Bottom line? Stop planting flowers in peoples’ yards who aren’t going to water them. You are beautiful. You will get through this. Don’t let an unhealthy relationship scare you away from falling in love again. Kick this person to the curb and rejoice because you just got out of the quicksand of all relationships. Be proud and go get a cocktail.
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