Marie Loiseau | On September 11, 2015
As we advance in our twenties and beyond, engagements become an ever-present part of life. She’s engaged, he’s engaged—they’re all engaged! For some, proposal after proposal after proposal can stir up some feelings of negativity.
Confusion, jealousy, disappointment, disapproval—they, in some combination or another—can show their ugly faces.Why is this? Why do engagements trigger eye rolls or petty gossip? It’s because, for whatever reason, many view an engagement and ultimately marriage as the goal. It’s where we eventually want to find ourselves. And just like any other goal—like getting a promotion or having a good income—we become jealous when others achieve it before us. We’re left thinking we’re behind or—more terrifying still—that we’ll never get there at all. That’s where the resentment is rooted. But it needs to stop.
We need to start feeling solely positivity for the many engaged couples within our lives. We need to do away with our jealousy and frustration. This is how we’ll do it:
Realize that it’s not a bad thing to be single! We’re constantly seeking The One and distracting ourselves with the need to fill some imaginary void. But there is no void. We’re fine on our own. In fact, if we would stop looking around for partners, we’d find that we could thrive in our singlehood if we only allow ourselves to do so.
I’m in a long-term relationship and, while I love my partner, I envy my single friends. I envy their freedom, their ability to go wherever they want without painfully missing a person back home. They have no strings, and there’s undeniable value in living a life unattached. They can go with the wind, no problem. Unfortunately, many of them busy themselves looking for partners, which leads to valuable time wasted. I urge them—and you—to enjoy these solo years because, and I repeat: it’s not a bad thing to be single!
Being engaged and being in love are two different things, and one is undeniably better than the other. If we’re lucky enough to have the latter, why worry about an engagement or marriage? Such worries will only put strain on the love we ought to be appreciating. If an engagement is supposed to happen, it will. We shouldn’t nag for a ring as if it’s the only way to validate our relationships. We shouldn’t view engaged couples as having better relationships than ours. It’s not a competition, after all. So shrug off your jealousy. We need to be happy for others by first being grateful for what we already have.
Engagements happen when two individuals find love with each other and decide to commit for eternity. That’s worth celebrating, regardless who you are in relation to the two lovers. It’s love! That’s the best piece of the human experience, and we should be cheering it on, smiling over it and getting a warm feeling inside whenever we see it in our midst. So let’s move forward with positivity from now on—no matter who gets or puts a ring on it.
Feature Photo via