The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, right? We’re always going to wish we had something someone else has, whether that’s a personality trait, a skill, a job and even tangible, materialistic items. When that happens, the green monster of envy haunts us and can make us feel down about ourselves and even affect the way we interact with someone.
We want you all to know that this is completely normal and there are ways to deal with this issue, learn from it and move on.First thing’s first, are you envious? It may not be an obvious feeling. It may just feel like something is rubbing you the wrong way which can cause a bad attitude and hostility. Constantly tearing a friend down, making backhanded compliments and even avoiding the person completely are signs that there may be envy there. The realization that you’re missing out on big events in their lives and have even gone as far as not even liking statuses and pictures on social networking also screams envy. It could be possible that you just aren’t feeling the friendship anymore or you don’t agree with their life choices but if you feel there is a slight possibility that it could be envy, it most likely is.
Now that you’ve settled on the fact you are in fact envious of this person, it’s time to deal with it as soon as possible. This can be handled by “controlling your behavior.” While controlling feelings is a bit impossible, controlling how you react to these feelings can be done. It may be a struggle but keep a smile on your face and think about your peer’s feelings. They have shared something with you because they are excited. They want your support and celebration too. You’ll want the same reaction when you, too, have good news to share.
In order to handle the general emotion of envy, you’ll have to remind yourself daily to stop comparing yourself to your peers. Let’s say your best friend is an excellent dancer, you wish, terribly, that you, too, had this skill. Guess what? Either take dance lessons or get past this because; 1. You most likely have a skill that he or she does not have 2. If you don’t do something about it then you’re still going to terrible at dancing and he or she will still be great at it and you’ve done nothing but put yourself down. As a matter of fact, put this toxic emotion aside and have your friend or peer teach you how to be good at this skill.
This next lesson is quite crucial, if your envy stems from social media, take a break from watching your feed. Remember that if you’re envious of someone’s looks, that selfie took about 50 tries just like anyone else’s. If the overloads of engagement announcements are making your single life seem super lame, remember that you don’t have to keep up with what others are doing. It’s just not your time yet, no need to rush. Again, if you’re having trouble remembering these things, detox! Shut your phone off, delete your apps for a while or deactivate. Don’t let social media bring you down.
Envy has a lot to do with self-confidence. As long as you know that people may be different than you that doesn’t make them better than you. Envy is inevitable but how you handle It will make all the difference. Seek support, remind yourself how awesome you are and you’ll have no problem getting over this hump!
(Feature Photo via Maverick Philosopher)