One of the most gut-wrenching things to go through is ending a long-term relationship with someone you thought you’d marry someday. While it may hurt right now, we have great news for you: you’re going to be fine! In fact, you’re going to be more than fine. Here’s how to bounce back from what feels like the end of the world.
Respond Logically To The Situation
Try not to act out of emotion. When your adrenaline is high and you’re feeling rejected and hurt, you may say things you don’t mean or feel things you don’t truly feel deep down. You may start begging him to get back together because you can’t live without him. Men don’t respond too well to this. They can either shut down or become angry. Neither of these reactions will help you in any way. In addition, you may not even truly want them to stay. In my most recent breakup, I panicked, begged, and pleaded and less than 24 hours later, I realized that I could live without him and that I didn’t want him there nor did I want to wait for him to come back. Everything I said was based on emotion and we don’t think logically when our emotions are high. Take a breather and respond to the situation with your head on straight. You don’t want to say things that may hurt him or put yourself in a position to get hurt even more.
Stay Away From Alcohol
Alcohol is a depressant and while it’s fun to take shots and party the night away, you will either come home that night or wake up the next morning feeling worse than you did before. Matthew Hussey, a relationship expert, says “lean innocent,” during this time. He explains that you should go out during the day and surround yourself with positive people. While partying can be a blast, you’re seeing people at their worst and this can cause you to compare the negative experience to your ex. You will then put them on this pedestal and start to miss them even more. Comparing someone to the worst case scenario will always make them look good. It’s not a conclusion you should trust.
You Don’t Need A Man
Do not date until you are emotionally ready to. Jumping from this guy to the next in a short amount of time is not a good idea because you are thrown into a relationship before you are healed from your last one. Spend time with friends and family, don’t feel the need to use other boys as a distraction. You’re a strong independent woman who does not need a man to make her happy!
Write About How You Feel
Writing down your feelings is a great way to get everything out and your thoughts organized. When you’re in a situation like this, your mind is going crazy, nothing is streamlined. Writing can help eliminate this problem. I assigned myself two writing projects when my ex and I broke up. I wrote a good vs. bad list about my ex to put things into perspective. This list showed me that the bad outweighed the good and that was the first time I felt a little bit of peace about the situation. I also wrote him a long letter about my feelings towards him and towards the breakup. While I don’t plan on giving him this letter, it gave me a sense of closure because at least I got it all out. You can simply start a journal to write in every day to keep track of your ups and down, too.
Say No To Social Media
Detox from social media, especially if you are going to have a few drinks. We tend to air our dirty laundry on social media because we want to vent to the world, but remember that most people don’t enjoy these posts. If they do enjoy them, it’s because they want to gossip about you. Your ex may also see these and it will either hurt him or you may get a reaction that you weren’t hoping for and you will hurt even more. Not to mention that you’ll be stalking his pages and trust me, if you look hard enough, you’ll find something and you’ll create scenarios in your head about things that probably aren’t even happening. Keep it subtle and keep it classy.
“Live An Amazing Life”
This is another piece of advice Matthew Hussey has given. Take this time to work on yourself. You should be the most important person in your life. If you cannot take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else or succeed in the other areas in your life. Volunteer for non-profits in your community, go back to school or redecorate your apartment. Do things that make you feel great, help you grow as a person and build your confidence. Being the best possible version of yourself will either send him running back to you or it will get you over him. Both outcomes could bring you the peace you need and deserve.
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