Breakups seemed a bit easier about 10 years ago or even just five years ago. It is much more difficult these days because of how well we stay connected. We’re almost too connected. Social media has taken over and we now have full access to each other’s lives. Since we tend to disclose personal information to the worlds of Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram; cyber stalking our exes has gotten much easier and the ability to let go has gotten much harder.
There are ways of getting through this and we are here to help.It can get addicting to constantly know where your ex is, who he is hanging out with and what he has to say about the events that have taken place with you two. Do whatever it takes to avoid viewing his profiles. Block your ex or even ask him to block you. According to YourTango, you may even want to block or unfriend you ex’s family members and friends. They will only remind you of your ex and they may post photos and “check-in” places with him. You do not want to see this. The less you know, the better. Out of sight, out of mind.
Unfriending your ex also prevents social media wars. When you see what he posts it influences what you post. You may even start to bash him on the internet. This will only make you look bad and create bad karma for yourself. You will look much classier if you take the high road. If he decides to bash you, don’t even entertain his foolishness. Everyone will notice how mature you’re being and admire you for it.
Attempting to look like you’re completely fine may also not work in your favor. According to an article in the New York Post, “Appearing happy on Facebook will not help your break up.” This article also included wisdom from Kris Ruby, a social media expert. She stated, “It makes someone think you moved on faster than they did, and that the relationship wasn’t as meaningful to you as it was to them.” We couldn’t agree more. It makes you appear insensitive. You wouldn’t want him to make you feel this way, so try not to do it to him.
In addition to faking extreme happiness, avoid appearing like you’ve already moved on to a new guy. Don’t post pictures with a new boy too soon on social media or take your dates to places you know that you’ll be seen at. Your intentions are not good so this will not end well for you and it certainly will not help you move on. In the words of Relationship Surgery, “it’s sad.” This “new” relationship may not survive and you’ll appear to be hopping around from guy-to-guy. Going on dates solely to publicize it will not give you time to grieve and fully get over the split.
This will probably be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. It takes a lot of self-control and you’ll need tons of support. If you cannot stop yourself from checking social media, delete your apps from your phone and stay busy. Social media will be less accessible and you wont have to fully delete your accounts. We have all been there and are guilty of participating in most, if not all, of these actions but we believe you can do it. Stay strong.
(Feature Photo via Tumblr)