For many, a first date between two people decides the fate of a relationship to come.
Nerves, sweaty palms and an excessive amount of perfume or cologne are commonalities of first date preparation we all can relate to to some degree. I have always dressed to impress, charmed to entice and laughed to break the ice when I saw fit.
A first date warrants your best behavior because, obviously, you would like to make a solid impression and show off your star qualities to the other party while learning more about him or her.Unfortunately, some people are not as adept as you are in the area of dating etiquette. As a disclaimer, there are many who fumble and flop on first dates due to debilitating nerves and it’s okay; we are only human. The sweaty palms, stuttering, accidentally spilling wine on your date’s dress or expensive slacks can and should be forgiven, but these five blunders will eliminate any chance of scoring a second date:
You look and act like a slob.
Dress the part. If you’re meeting your date at a coffee shop, rolling up in a three piece suit is just weird. If you’re taking your date to any restaurant that begins with the word “Chateau,” don’t arrive in freshly ironed denim and Sperrys—this isn’t Cabo. If you dress the part, your behavior is expected to match. No one should have to remind you of chivalry and (surprise, surprise) it’s far from dead. Open the car door, the door to the restaurant, even the bathroom door if you’re really trying to make a point.
You cannot part ways with your phone.
Your fantasy team can wait and that Snapchat feed of “Helsinki Life” will still be there when you get home.
This red flag should be coupled with the previous one, but in the day and age we currently live in, this mistake is too often made and always leaves a bad taste in the mouth of the person watching you scroll through Instagram while you explain your music taste.You have a wandering eye.
I shouldn’t have to explain why checking out other potential partners during a date is a red flag. If you are genuinely not interested in the person who you are on a date with, have the decency to end on a good note, with a smile, a hug, and “It was nice meeting you.” This scenario popped up on a date I went on. Once I realized his gaze rested on another asset (pun intended) and he degraded my self-esteem, I immediately formulated a reason to excuse myself from the date. It’s only natural for other attractive people to catch your eye, but try your hardest to focus your attention on the person who only has their attention on you.
You don’t ask questions.
Yeah, I understand you’re a budding entrepreneur. I didn’t realize how in-depth someone could go into discussing how much they can bench, but, please, by all means, keep going. Oh, your city chicken allows you to live sustainably? Please, by all means, continue! I’ll just sit here, while my linguine gets cold, and pretend to care while you rattle on. Back and forth communication is one of the top ways to maintain a healthy relationship. If you cannot sustain an even conversation and allow your date to chime in or ask your own questions, consider your date finished.
You demean your date’s choices in life.
If you are steadfast in not incorporating alcohol in your life, good on you. If you tell your date this and they decide to order a cocktail much to your chagrin, don’t hold it against them or verbally berate their actions. If your date can respect your choice not to drink, respect their choice too. If this is a facet of your date you simply cannot see past, this is not the person for you anyway. Individuality should be celebrated and values far different from your own should be seen with open mind.
There are hundreds of other red flags that may pop up during the course of a date or a relationship, and not every one of them should be a deal breaker. Second chances are rarely given or they’re handed out like candy nowadays. It’s best to trust your instincts when you decide whether or not to give one. Bad first dates should be seen as learning experiences, and the good ones… well, it’s safe to assume you’re on the right track if you cannot wait to get together again with your date by the end of the night.
Feature Photo via Wooderice